The social worker at MMMC had set it up so that I could stay at the YWCA, which is located near the hospital.  The prospect of staying at the Y for the remainder of the pregnancy,  (I was only 27 weeks at the time) scared me.  I was worried, my husband was worried, the whole family was worried.  I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to leave my family behind.  I didn’t want to leave Rachel, who had turned 2 at the end of July.  

I packed, knowing I would be there a while.  Two large suitcases filled with clothes, books, my laptop, DVD’s, magazines and some files for work.  I tried to hide my tears from Rachel as I stuffed pictures of her in my bag.  I fought back tears as we dropped her off at daycare that morning.   

We made it to Oahu and went straight to Kapiolani Medical Center.  At the doctor’s office they took my vitals and of course, my blood pressure was elevated.  It was a stressful day.  My urine had trace amounts of protein.  After an ultrasound they decided I was had to be admitted ASAP.  I had chronic hypertension with super-imposed preeclampia.  Complete bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy. 

Being admitted to the hospital actually relieved a lot of stress for us.  My family on Maui could rest easier, knowing I was in good hands.  I was comfortable in my surroundings, I was a patient there just 2 year ago when Rachel was born. 

My hospital room became my home away from home for four long weeks.

The March of Dimes brought me the colorful quilt that kept me warm at night and brightened up my days.  Thankfully, my blood pressure stabilized and after about a week of bed rest, I was allowed to walk around.  I was limited to my room and the hallways of the 3rd floor, but after lying in bed for a week, it was complete bliss.  I visited as many of the other antepartum patients that I could.  I showed them pictures of Rachel and told them how well she was doing after being born at this very hospital two years ago, at just 26 weeks and 5 days. 

My room was just across the hall from the nursery.  Though noisy at times with families oohing and aahing over their newest family members, I got to ooh and aah at those beautiful, healthy babies too as I rubbed my growing belly and prayed that this time, I would carry to term. 

I sat in this chair when I got sick of the being in bed. I could easily watch TV from this cozy corner and my laptop, books and magazines were all within reach.  When Rob visited, we would move this chair closer to the bed.  It pulled out full length and it served as Rob’s bed during his weekend visits.  

This was the view from my bed.  Kapiolani is just mauka of Central Union Church.   It was beautiful at night, when the lights in the steeple came on.  

The four weeks I spent in this room on Oahu, away from my husband, daughter and everyone else I loved, were the toughest and lonliest four weeks of my life.  That was a year ago, today. Oh, what a difference a year makes.   

I cried today for a baby and a family that I haven’t even met.  Madeline Alice Sphor died yesterday.  She was a beautiful 17-month old little girl who was born in November 2007 at 28 weeks.  She went to the hospital with a cough and died unexpectedly.   I was a frequent visitor to her mother’s blog.  As a fellow preemie parent, I followed her story closely and celebrated Maddie’s triumphs as if they were my own.  I was shocked and saddened to see the worst unfolding through Twitter feeds.  The Sphor family blog has been so overwhelmed with visitors that I will have to  post the link at a later date.   My heart aches for the Sphor family and all the other parents who has ever suffered through the loss of a child.  I pray that they find peace.

In lieu of flowers, The Sphor family has requested that donations be made to The March of Dimes in Maddie’s memory.  Give what you can, even if it’s only a few dollars.  Your contribution, no matter the size, will help make a difference in the lives of all children.   With your support, one day all babies will be born healthy.

Hug your children today and tell them how much you love them.  Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Rest in peace dear Maddie and know that your life, though fleeting,  has touched the lives of many.

The average cost of medical care for a premature or low birth-weight baby for its first year of life is about $49,000, according to a new report from the March of Dimes Foundation.  Babies born after the 37th week of pregnancy are less costly to the health care system than premature babies. By contrast, a newborn without complications costs $4,551 for care in its first year of life, the report said. Newborns with other kinds of complications, such as congenital defects, have medical expenses of $10,273 on average in the first year.  Read the entire article here.

I sat and thought about our costs during Rachel’s first year.  $49,000 seems like a very low estimate.  Rachel was born at 26 weeks. - a full three months early.  She was in the NICU for 6 weeks.  She is our million dollar miracle. Her sister Olivia was born 2 months early.  She was hospitalized for 4 weeks.

What drove the costs up for us is the fact that Maui does not have a NICU.  I delivered both girls at Kapiolani Medical Center for Women and Children on Oahu.  Kapiolani has the only Level III NICU in the Pacific and when my water broke at 25 weeks during my first pregnancy, I had to be medivac’d there.   During my second pregnancy, I spent 4 weeks on bed rest at Kapiolani so they could closely monitor my developing preeclampsia.  Both girls spent a combined 10 weeks in the NICU while I stayed at the Ronald McDonald House to be near them.

The heaviest cost to us the first year was the loss of one income.  When you have preemies, especially as early as ours, daycare is not an option.  The risks are too great…their systems are generally too fragile to be exposed to that many germs that soon.  We made the decision that Rob would stay home with Rachel to care for her.  We basically drained our savings that first year.  When Olivia was born in two months early last October we knew that he would again put his career on hold until she was strong and healthy enough to be put in a daycare situation.

For us,  the true cost of prematurity is not just the out of pocket medical expenses.  The travel & lodging on Oahu, the continued medical treatments on Oahu for both girls,  the total loss of one income…it all continues to add up.

The article stated that some babies are just destined to be born early.  I’m beginning to think that Rachel and Olivia were.  Recently someone told me that these babies and this cause chose me.  If that’s true, I hope and pray I’m doing all of them justice.

Rachel's arrival

Rachel was born at 26 weeks and 5 days.  She weighed just 1 lb 13 oz.  I couldn’t hold her, she was too tiny.  I just got a glimpse of her in the isolette before they whisked her away to the NICU.   They didn’t let me go down to see her until hours later.  I was running a fever and they didn’t want me in the NICU at all.  They finally allowed me to visit but only wearing a mask. 

It’s hard to explain just how tiny a 1 lb baby is.   Picture this if you can…I put my hand near hers in the isolette.  She grabbed my index finger and her whole hand just covered my fingernail. 

The March of Dimes is funding the vital research to someday prevent all babies from being born too soon.  Rachel is here because of that research.

She's still happy and smiling in spite of her ear infection

Yesterday was the 8th day of Olivia’s cold so we took her back to the doctor.  She seemed like she was getting better over the weekend, less congested, but on Sunday she started developing a cough and her cry sounded funny…strained somehow.  By Monday morning her voice was gone…you could barely hear her cries.  She has laryngitis which  is of less concern to the doctor than the ear infection she now has.  To make matters worse, the cold has moved down into her chest…my worst fear, confirmed.  Last night we repeated the steamy showers every few hours and we’re back to  saline solution every hour or so.

Amazingly Olivia’s temperament and mood have remained the same.  She’s still happy and smiling and eating well despite it all.  She’s on antibiotics now.  I hope her voice returns soon.

Her sister Olivia was born 2 months early.  She weighed 3 lb 3 oz and was 16 inches long.   She was almost double her sister’s weight, which made her seem big and healthy in our eyes.   In reality, Olivia was about half the size of the average newborn.

1 in 8 babies are born too soon.  I never imagined I would have that “1″ in “8″…twice.  It’s why I walk in The March for Babies - so all babies can get their 9 months.